opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
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