Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
