Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize