apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
