my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
