If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Moan for me like Helen Keller
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
