Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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