Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
