You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
