the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
