Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
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