Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
My breasts were aching with rage.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
