Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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