2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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