allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
