Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
