he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
