Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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