Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
