she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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