Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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