So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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