bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
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