Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
farters have to be the big spoon...
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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