your thong is hanging out like whoa
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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