he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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