What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
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