So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
