Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
