Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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