Yo dont text me then not text me
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize