i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
