what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
This is my gift to your gina
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize