So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Dicks are not precious.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
