On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
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