Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
