did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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