what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
