therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
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