i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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