I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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