Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Where is the hickey?
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
