I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
