i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
