i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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