Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
