I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
