Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
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