So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
