we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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