he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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