i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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