I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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