I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
