She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
