I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
