It's Friday. Sex?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
