Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize