I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
