I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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