i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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