R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
