Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
